My trucker friend is on the road again today, he sent a text message to me.... Containing this:
There once was a man named Frances,
That thought he could sing in dresses.
He paraded up and down,
The crowd had a frown.
'cept for one guy that he saw something had risen,
For he just remembered he was just sent to prison.
He cried and he whined, "Oh god why me?"
Because now he has to sit to pee.
And then a while later, he sent me another big text message:
You have an American, a Brit, and an Irishman sitting in a pub.
A fly lands in each of the beers. the American throws a fit and yells "Take the beer away, I dont want it."
The Brit looks at the fly and pulls it out then says "That's better."
The Irishman grabs the fly out of his beer by the wings and starts shaking it saying "Cough it up, cough it up!"