Sorry for being so late with the totals from this years Kacie's Ride for Hope. I've been busy, busy then lazy, busy and lazy again... Or sum thing like that...... Anyway, I was in Placerville last weekend and caught up with Pat and Sharon to visit and collect the numbers again.
This year, we were able to donate $14,550 to "the Center for Violence Free Relationships." Pat was pretty weary from all the work it takes to have a run. But when he realized the first year had 139 people register and he gave the center $4,500, the second year had 205 people registering and $7,500 going to the center, then this year had 309 registrations and $14,550 helping the center with an estimated $2,000 more being given directly to the center in Kacie's name... Well hell, that adds up to $26,550 donated to help people change and save lives. That paints a better picture of all that work. The center used to be the El Dorado Women's Center. They have been changing and growing to offer more services and resources to anyone, man woman and child, who needs help. This includes more than just relocation services as in the past. They are active with programs and education to help people change the habits of abusing or being abused or to recover.
As I brought up to the crowd when I asked a blessing for the run, there is NO EXCUSE to let this go on.
If we are the abused and don't want to rock the boat, or we love the abuser and he/she can't help it, or we don't want to be a bother... BULLSHIT! There is help out there before someone else dies!
If we are the abuser, we might be ashamed of it, or we rationalize (lie to ourselves) the actions because of circumstances, or that's how our parents acted... BULLSHIT! It's NOT acceptable, There is help available before someone dies and we go to prison!
If you are aware of someone else involved in the abuse trap and don't want to intrude, It's not your business (and I have been guilty of this one)... BULLSHIT! Research your local resources, talk to the abused/abuser that you are closest to, suggest resources for help. If the abuse continues, report it to the authorities! DON"T FEEL GUILTY! You are probably saving someone's life!
REMEMBER! When someone dies as a result of domestic violence: That someone is gone forever; their immediate family is traumatized and some don't recover, a mother, sister or a son; extended family members are also traumatized; close friends are traumatized too. Out of these groups, imagine trying to explain what happened to the children and emotional teens. But wait! It doesn't stop there. What about friends of the families, workmates, associations with groups... stop and think about how many people are touched by one life.
Before my wife died, she was sick for over 7 years. During the last 3 we often had arguments about suicide. She was 5150'd 2 or 3 times. I was seriously at my wits end and was recognizing that I would literally be spitting mad as I was yelling in the arguments. I know from past experiences that this was on the threshold of loosing control. When I would see the spit as I was yelling, I would throw up my hands and tell her: I HAVE TO GO FOR A WALK! I would remove myself from the heat of the battle until I could think and just talk again. When this was happening too often, I went to mental health and requested an anger management group. I was told they had already had a couple sessions and I'd have to wait a few months for the next group. I insisted that waiting was unacceptable and I needed help before I lost control. They got me into the next meeting with the option to attend the first few meetings of the next group also. One thing that really affected me was that I was the only one there that wasn't mandated by the courts! When they asked me why I was there, I responded that I didn't want to HAVE to be there. I wanted help BEFORE I hurt my wife!
So I know by experience. There is NO excuse to let the abuse go on! With help it CAN stop!
Pat also gave me the Nov. '08 issue of Thunder Press. A free magazine for Motorcycle enthusists found at a lot of motorcycle shops. There is a very good two page article of the run. Should I make a post from it too? I also urged him again to post the pictures from the "Pot bellies and hairy backs carwash" on the run site, http://www.kaciesrideforhope.com/. I'll let you know when the pics show up there.
Till the next post, God Bless.